My night job

From the masses, I've already heard about how shitty my life must be since I have a blog. Well, you're right, in part. But the majority of that shitty-ness can be directly attributed to this little job I have. Actually, the job doesn't always suck. Like most jobs, though, it has it's moments. As some of you know, I work for an independent minor league baseball association known as Baseball Concessions, Inc. It's a little part-time thing that I've done for the past three summers and what it more-or-less allows me to do is get paid to blog and do my homework (or to not do my homework). The blog actually spawned out of boredom, and then became sort of a dead-end hobby.

But the one thing I did discover was that it sure is good at passing the time when you're bored. And if you happen to write anything that has to do with UNC basketball, you might wind up on 850 The Buzz, as I did when I infromed the world that Tar Heel guards Wayne Ellington and Ty Lawson would "declare" for the NBA Draft. But God knows I'm not getting into that shit. There's some dude out there by the name of Dan Schwind who's had my name all over some other blog, callin' me out for not knowing what the hell I'm talking about. Never met the guy, but he must know a lot more about what I'm talking about than I do.

Also, Google has this little thing called "Adsense" which allows me to place an ad (see under the "About Me" portion of this blog) that earns money, albeit pennies, each time a reader clicks. Now that's not an endorsement to go clicking, but if the ad hits you close to home then feel free, by all means. Since April, I've made $9.19. I won't actually be able to withdraw any of that until the account reaches $100. At this rate, it'll be a free half-tank of gas when I retire.

Then there's the fact that I can pull a Perez Staton and post pictures of my friends wasted. One day that will probably get me thrown in jail, but for now I'll keep pushing it.

So yeah, really I started this post about 20 minutes ago because I'm waiting on the Pensacola Pelicans and the El Paso Diablos to finish the back end of their doubleheader. So it's either Facebook until my fingers bleed or think out loud.

If you got this far, I have sucked you in.

That is why I blog.

###END###

OK, I can do this!

USA Men's Basketball. Tomorrow. Eight o'clock a.m. Here is a true test of readership. My phone number is 252-723-8092. Call me and make sure I'm awake. I'd love to watch a game before the Olympics are over.

Now that's cold blooded

If you ask me, this story about how China, this year's host for the Olympic Games, had a girl lip-sync "Ode to the Motherland" during the opening ceremonies is about as big as Michael Phelps' gums.

If you haven't heard, China had 7-year old Yang Peiyi (pictured) sing the song, and another, prettier girl - 9-year Lin Miaoke - puttin' an Ashlee Simpson in front of the entire world.

"Lin Miaoke might be only 9-years old but she is well on her way to becoming a star, thanks to her heartwarming performance," read an article in Tuesday's China daily newspaper, according to CNN.com.

The girl never sang a note!

Now, I mean maybe this isn't a huge deal, but out of a little humorous curiosity, I read through the story. Amid the news, I found some comments by the ceremonies' music director that were just astounding - seriously as stupid as answering "Absolutely!" when your girlfriend asks if you think she's getting fat. And then maybe adding that you think she's getting ugly, too.

"The reason was for the national interest," Chen Qigang said in a state radio interview, according to the article. "The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feeling and expression. ... Lin Miaoke is excellent in those aspects."

Comments made by Chinese bloggers carried the ridiculousness to a whole new plateau.

"If you're not good-looking, no matter how well you sing, you'll not be onstage. Do you know you're twisting a whole generation?" read one.

Another said, "If foreigners found out, they'd think we can't even find a girl who is good at both."

Like we care. Have these gong bangers ever seen a clip of Rosanne singing the Anthem at the Super Bowl? Or that Carl Lewis debacle? There isn't a 9-year old in the universe who's actually attractive. They have like seven teeth, terrible haircuts and hand-me-down clothes.

And the saddest part of the story? Peiyi is the only one with any character. A 9-year old able to represent pride and character better than adults who claim that's their primary goal.

CNN said that Peiyi was quoted as saying that she was honored to have played a role in the ceremony, even though the majority of views realized how big her part in it was.

My Thoughts on "The Dark Night"

OK. We'll branch away from sports on this one, because I refuse to talk about Brett Favre.

The Dark Night. Easily one of the best Batman movies, but one of the best movies of all time? Sorry. No chance. Yeah, so Heath Ledger died and though that was truly unfortunate, it was the best thing that could have happened to the movie. I certainly mean no disrespect at all to Ledger, but seriously, if Matt Damon had died prior to the Bourne Ultimatum, then there's a good chance we would have had the same story on our hands.

If we're being brutally honest about the whole thing, I thought Batman Begins was much better. I mean that's when they introduce the new Batmobile and you find out why he decides to be "Batman," and then there's that house. I understand the plot and I like how the movie really ties into its title. The characters were well portrayed and other than the fact that the hero is dressed like a bat, everything is pretty realistic, unlike the one with Arnold.

I don't want to sell it short. It was a good, borderline great movie. But the fact of the matter is the only reason why this flick is mentioned among the best of all time is the alignment of Ledger's death prior to the release of the best performance of his career.

Good for him. Good for the movie. Not good enough for me to put it in my Top 10.

2008 Summer Olympics

Look how far behind (center) he is.

I'll admit, that even though Michael Phelps is perhaps the ugliest American athlete since Willie McGee, the whole idea of one person winning eight gold medals in one Olympic Games is pretty impressive. But am I the only one who feels like his relay team is getting the shaft after last night's rally on the last leg of the 4x100 freestyle to edge the France by a fraction of a second? Lost amid the Phelps-mania seems to be the fact that, as ESPN.com's Pat Forde wrote, Jason Lezak - the American swimmer who swam the last leg of last night's relay - swam the fastest leg of a 100-meter relay in the history of the world. In fact, the man he caught, Frenchman Alain Bernard, the 100-meter world record holder, was beaten by .67 seconds! And all that after Bernard guaranteed a French win by a landslide. So Phelps' bid for eight gold medals sure owes a lot to Lezak and the rest of the relay team. According to Forde if Phelps does indeed rake in eight gold medals, Speedo will cut him a check for $1 million.

Get wet.

(Photo: Adam Pretty/Getty Images)

Nike has done it again

Marketing is a tricky business. And when you consider that Nike started out with the founder selling sneakers out of the trunk of his care, I think it's safe to assume that the company's marketing strategy has been nothing short of astounding. No company does a better job of promoting it's product through advertising than Nike. Sure, Michael Jordan had a lot to do with that, but they have survived life after MJ by tapping into the essence of sport - emotion. The embedded file is too big for the blogger, so here's the direct link.

http://www.nike.com/nikeos/p/nike/en_US/courage

The Redeem Team?

No, not LeBron, Kobe and Coach K. The other redeem team - the Mets, of course. It's been about a month since New York's 10-game win streak and the team has done its best to make exactly zero progress since. Although today the Mets are in line for a sweep of Florida and enter the day just a game behind the Phillies for the top spot in the NL East. All of this brings me to an interesting occurrence which happened last night.

So ... I'm standing outside Carolina Coffee Shop on Franklin Street in Chapel Hill. My drunk-ass friend apparently made an attempt to reconcile some old demons with an unspecified female. She was less than willing to, and assured my friend that her boyfriend would kick his ass if he knew that Loren, my buddy, were there. And of course, she promptly went to notify him. Shortly thereafter, as we're heading to Franklin Street stop No. 3 for the evening, said boyfriend starts talking shit to who else but me. So he's inside. I'm outside. His friend comes out, starts talking shit, blah blah blah. Later, the boyfriend has finally consumed enough liquid courage to make a cameo. ...

Now, I know what you're thinking: "What in the hell does this have to do with the Mets?"


Well, that's what I was thinking. But apparently this kid, whom I've never met before, knows that I am a Mets fan and immediately turns the trash talk to baseball. To be honest, I wouldn't consider myself much of a fighter. In fact, I'm just 2-2 in my career with my last bout, a loss, coming during recess in the fifth grade. So, though I felt quite certain I could beat this kids' ass, I refrained for fear of having to add my own mugshot to this post.

Still, the only thing that seemed to get his blood boiling was not the fact that his girlfriend's (who was ugly) skeletons just fell out in the middle of a bar on a Saturday night, but instead that I, who had nothing to do with any of this, am a Mets fan.

So, naturally, the only conceivable way that I figure the guy could know this is ... are you ready for this? He must have read my blog! I sure hope so anyway. Because if he does, then he'll get to relive how retarded he made himself, donned in a fuchsia polo, look in front of God and everybody last night.

Maybe one day he'll marry that girl, then knock up a Hooter's waitress only to marry her ... like his oh so obvious hero Larry.