Sunday, August 10, 2008

The Redeem Team?

No, not LeBron, Kobe and Coach K. The other redeem team - the Mets, of course. It's been about a month since New York's 10-game win streak and the team has done its best to make exactly zero progress since. Although today the Mets are in line for a sweep of Florida and enter the day just a game behind the Phillies for the top spot in the NL East. All of this brings me to an interesting occurrence which happened last night.

So ... I'm standing outside Carolina Coffee Shop on Franklin Street in Chapel Hill. My drunk-ass friend apparently made an attempt to reconcile some old demons with an unspecified female. She was less than willing to, and assured my friend that her boyfriend would kick his ass if he knew that Loren, my buddy, were there. And of course, she promptly went to notify him. Shortly thereafter, as we're heading to Franklin Street stop No. 3 for the evening, said boyfriend starts talking shit to who else but me. So he's inside. I'm outside. His friend comes out, starts talking shit, blah blah blah. Later, the boyfriend has finally consumed enough liquid courage to make a cameo. ...

Now, I know what you're thinking: "What in the hell does this have to do with the Mets?"

Well, that's what I was thinking. But apparently this kid, whom I've never met before, knows that I am a Mets fan and immediately turns the trash talk to baseball. To be honest, I wouldn't consider myself much of a fighter. In fact, I'm just 2-2 in my career with my last bout, a loss, coming during recess in the fifth grade. So, though I felt quite certain I could beat this kids' ass, I refrained for fear of having to add my own mugshot to this post.

Still, the only thing that seemed to get his blood boiling was not the fact that his girlfriend's (who was ugly) skeletons just fell out in the middle of a bar on a Saturday night, but instead that I, who had nothing to do with any of this, am a Mets fan.

So, naturally, the only conceivable way that I figure the guy could know this is ... are you ready for this? He must have read my blog! I sure hope so anyway. Because if he does, then he'll get to relive how retarded he made himself, donned in a fuchsia polo, look in front of God and everybody last night.

Maybe one day he'll marry that girl, then knock up a Hooter's waitress only to marry her ... like his oh so obvious hero Larry.

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