Cool Runnings

This is exactly what would've happened if the dude from Cool Runnings hadn't fallen down in his attempt to qualify for the Olympic Games and had to resort to starting up a bobsled team. Usain "Lightning" Bolt is a total bad-ass. This guy is running the 100-meter final at the Olympic Games, starts high-steppin' 15 meters before the finish line, and shatters his own world record. I mean, 9.69 seconds? That's like a first down per second. That's like faster than my mom drives. That's like ... unreal. The scary part is that this guy could have been looking in the 9.5-range if he'd kept running, and that should just be impossible. At what point do these people stop getting faster? A hundred years from now are people gonna be running 100 meters in eight seconds, or what? I don't know, but what this guy did blows Michael Phelps outta the water (pun intended). If I were Nike, I'll tell this guy to wipe his ass with those Puma's ...